Shaky Egg

I cannot tell you how happy I am.

I have gone on and on through my blogs about my music ho days, back when I was trailing all over the southeast from St. Louis to ATL to Nashville to The Ham to see so many amazing independent bands, people who knew how to play, how to produce, and were FOR REAL. I’ve watched one or two go from nobodies, who actually knew me by name, to disillusioned acts with immense talent who got screwed by their labels, to big shots who didn’t even know me any more. I’m happy for them. I just feel smug that I know how to pick them.

Five years after having my baby I am finally at a place where I can start touching on that part of my life again. I fell out of the scene — was only able to make it to a few treasured shows over the years, Rush, Driveby Truckers, My Morning Jacket, but not nearly the number of places I wanted to be.

I don’t trust anyone with my baby except my mama, and all my friends have babies of their own, so they don’t take to kindly to keeping mine til two or four am so I can go bring the rock. And as much as I’d like to bring her wtih me to bars, I don’t think that’s allowed.

I believe in starting them young– her Daddy plays screaming guitar, my best girlfriend is a former struggling Queen of Rock and Roll, and music is always present in our house, from Common to Tool to Joni Mitchell to Dan Zanes. But I can’t take her to bars, and we’re not in one of those big cities like Houston that has huge outdoor festivals where you can bring your baby to absorb all that world of goodness.

So… I’ve been sitting it out. But I know it’s here. Or it used to be here, back when I was all over the Southeast following truly heartfelt, original, kick your ass music. All those real musicians, paying their dues, traveling, making no money and doing it for love (and probably for the beer and the chicks, get real, I certainly threw myself at a musician or two, and wish I’d thrown myself at a couple of others but I was too shy or too busy ‘making good choices’), were telling me, yeah, Montgomery actually is the rap capital right now, at least for the true, real, roots rap/hiphop.

And I’m all about the rawk, and the alt. country, but I’m all about true heartfelt rap and hiphop too. I love the sampling and scratching and the truly good spontaneous poetry and realism of the lyrics. PE and Wu Tang always blew me away. Listen, really listen. If you have any sort of literary sensibility at all you can hear it.

And then I got pregnant and didn’t ever get around to checking it out.

I LOVE music. It is not about genre. I have everything in my collection from Wu Tang and PE to The Smiths to the Meat Puppets to System of a Down to Swingshot.

It is about the music, the art, the lyrics, the feelings, the connections, the shared experiences played out in the music, and the people. Music transforms us. Someone puts their heart and soul, the harsh and the triumphant, out there through creative expression. A good rap IS fucking poetry.

And then I went to work where I work and the kids are all about this. They sit for hours and look at videos online. They have big dreams– can you tell me how to copyright my song?  So I responded, because these are three things that matter so much to me– libraries actually serving people’s actual needs/interests, music, and kids.

I had the privilege tonight of meeting Queazy and Li’l Chappy. They generously gave me their CD’s which I already love and will enjoy more than I’ve enjoyed anything since my last Wu Tang purchase. They are also *fine*. And Lil Chappy whipped out his LIBRARY CARD! That was like the biggest thrill of the evening.

I’ve listened to the hip hop stations around town, and heard things I like, but wondered how to cross over from big radio (cumulus) to the real thing. I know it’s here but I don’t know where.

Thanks to Queazy’s and Li’l Chappy’s generous donation of their time and thought and energy at the program tonight… maybe a few young people got some ideas. Maybe the kids will come to the library and let me teach them to blog and podcast and get them started creating their own work through audacity or acid.

And maybe I can crawl back to music, in what time I have left after working and loving my little girl, and maybe music will take me back.